Hey everyone,
I hope anyone and everyone who is reading this is having a great day. Today it’s sunny where I am which brings it’s own joy to the day. However, I have some thoughts I am wanting to throw out there and see what people think. Now I believe in God. I believe he is the one true God and no one else and nothing else can compare to him. I believe he created us in his image and for a purpose. I think most people whether it is consciously or unconsciously done, are searching for their purpose. Most would recognize that search when someone asks what the meaning of life is, or why they don’t feel fulfilled. I think part of life is finding that purpose for which we were created and enjoying the journey along the way. I bring this up because there are so many times that little things are whispered into our ears and we play that over and over again. What I have noticed though and maybe this only goes for me. But…. and this is actually kind of hard for me to say, because it brings to light the truth about myself that I am not happy with. The little whispers, the things I am worried other people are thinking or saying about me. They are the things I am thinking or saying about others. Stop and think for a moment. Think about the things you are worried about people thinking. For example, I am going to Thanksgiving dinner and I am sitting there worried about, what will my family think about what I am wearing. What if my hair isn’t fancy enough, what if I am the largest person there? When in reality, my family is just happy to see me. I could show up in a paper sack, they may be concerned wondering if I am okay financially, but they would just love me the way they always have. Those thoughts, those concerns, those whispers? They are what I am thinking. I show up and I look around and look at what everyone is wearing. How did they decide to do their hair. Are they heavier or lighter than the last time I saw them. Now let me stop you a moment before you think I am the worst person on the planet. (If we take a look at my last sentence, I am writing that because I am thinking, if I read someone else writing this I would prob think they are horrible and judgmental, take note of that). When I look around at my family or anyone, you could be a complete stranger, I do, I look at your clothes, your hair, your demeanor and I make an instant thought and opinion. I start wondering. Oh she looks sad today, I wonder what is making her sad, I wonder if she just broke up with someone, or was broken up with. Perhaps she lost a family member, or a friend. Or another example, oh they are wearing clothes that are dirty. I wonder if they just got finished at a dirty job, or if they fell down, or maybe their washing machine is broken, or perhaps they don’t have money for new jeans. At no time, am I ever making fun of these people or ridiculing. I am simply trying to understand. However, me trying to understand and thinking about all these things, makes me hyper aware of others looking at me, and I wonder if they are thinking the same things. So it makes me stop and take a step back. I have always, always done this. I have never done it with a cruel intention or a cruel heart. But, would I be willing to say these things out loud to the person? Would I be willing to go ask that person why their pants are dirty? It really makes me start to pause and take a minute to think about what I am allowing myself to think. This continues on for me with everything. If I am sick at work and I go home, or don’t go in that day. Are my coworkers thinking I am lying? Well stop. Why am I thinking that? Well because at one point when my coworker is sick I have thought that maybe they are lying. We are our toughest critics. We are the ones that put the whispers in our head. I have always been told, well those little whispers of self doubt are from the devil. It just makes me wonder. Are they? or did I once think these things and am turning the microscope back onto myself? I know this blog was long, so if you made it this whole way I thank you. But some things to think about as I leave this here.
- We are made in God’s image, if we are saying we are ugly, we hate ourselves, we hate the way we look ect. ( Let me preface, I do understand mental illness and how some of those things are because of brain chemistry. So I am not trying to belittle these feelings.) But if we are looking at the way we look and saying we hate it, we are ugly. We are actually saying those things about God, because we were made in his image.
- To all the parents out there. This comes from a child who heard this. First. If you are a mother. Think about what your children hear and get to see of how you think about yourself. If you think you are ugly or whatever. You are telling your child they are ugly. Maybe not directly, but as a child who has been there. Your child is part of you. If you won’t like yourself, you are inadvertently disliking a part of them even if you don’t actually mean it.
- Second. Dad’s, Mom’s whoever you are. Never ever if you can help if tell your child how much you dislike your spouse, ex spouse, whomever. My father used to tell me how much he hated my mom. That killed me on a level I didn’t even know, because when I was old enough and could take the time to look into it. I realized, I always heard he hated my mom. And I was half my mom, so he hated a part of me. Now you may be saying that’s extreme. I know my dad loved me, I do he loved me so much, but I am telling you. These things get into our minds and no matter how much you know differently, they stick with you.
Thanks for reading. If you have thoughts, please comment below.
Sea of Life 